Are you balancing assertiveness and empathy—or is one taking over?
After working with nearly 800 EQ-i 2.0 Emotional Intelligence assessments, I’ve noticed a trend—especially among women.
Women often score high in empathy but lower in assertiveness.
Men (on average) tend to score the opposite.
Why? Socialization plays a role. Many women are taught to prioritize harmony, relationships, and people-pleasing. And while empathy is a superpower, it needs to be balanced with assertiveness—the ability to express your needs and opinions with confidence.
I used to struggle with this myself. Early in my career as a therapist and coach, I held back on feedback—worried about hurting feelings. Over time, I learned that being honest doesn’t mean being harsh. It means delivering truth with care and clarity.
If you’re a woman looking to build assertiveness while maintaining empathy, try this:
💡 Recognize your authority – Your insights are valuable.
💡 Practice speaking up – Even when it feels uncomfortable.
💡 Reframe assertiveness – It’s not about being pushy; it’s about being clear and direct with respect.
This Women’s History Month, I encourage you to step into your authority. Because when you do, you’ll have more influence, empowerment, and success.
What about you? Have you ever struggled with finding this balance?
What Our
EQ-i Clients Say
“With Roberta’s background in both business and psychology, she understood our environment and how to navigate it. She is a humble, grounded leader and she knew how to draw things out of individuals and then addressed those issues in a very professional, non-judgmental way. The coaching has helped our entire team…we have become more communicative, approachable, and thoughtful in our responses. This change has made people more comfortable bringing ideas to the executive team…and the more ideas considered, the more our business flourishes! We are better listeners, which has strengthened our relationships with each other and also with our clients.”
“Now our culture is one where better up-front accountability explanations occur, with a softer, more human approach. The team communication and collaboration is greatly improved, resulting in better ideas, a more streamlined work process, and an enhanced workplace environment.”
“I first met Roberta through Focus St. Louis’ CORO Women in Leadership program and was immediately blown away by Roberta and emotional intelligence. Not only did I learn so much about myself and my emotional intelligence weaknesses, Roberta shared tips and techniques for how to improve. I have since invited Roberta to work with my own organization and our leadership teams. Thank you, Roberta!”
“I went into Roberta’s class not knowing what EQ was or how it pertained to me, but I left very interested in the subject. I purchased Roberta’s book and am very interested in exploring EQ subject matter and expanding my EQ. It was a great class and a great presentation. Thank you!”
“Roberta enabled my team to think introspectively about their contributions to the team and office culture, as well as helping us all understand how we can maximize overall performance as we refine our individual contributions using emotional intelligence. After her workshop, there wasn’t a single individual on my 23-person team that didn’t find Roberta’s explanation and activities helpful!”
“Roberta facilitated an incredibly engaging and interactive Enterprise University course. It can be challenging to engage attendees and encourage participation in a webinar, but Roberta did both flawlessly!”
“Thank you to Roberta Moore for facilitating a wonderfully informative virtual event last Thursday “Creating the Workplace of the Future with EQi.”
“Thank you so much for adding your expertise and guidance to our event last week! It was a pleasure working with you and you did a great job on your session and keeping the audience engaged – Your presentation was well-executed, and the level of chatroom activity shows the audience was quite taken with it as well!”
“Your Enterprise University session, “The Power of Being an Empathetic Leader,” was a HUGE success. We already have received some survey responses back, and they are all very positive!”
“Thank you so much for your presentation today on The Power of Being an Empathetic Leader. This was one of the best presentations on this topic that I have seen.”
“Your presentation to the authors group was fantastic! I learned a lot and you were a very engaging speaker.”
2022 State of Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace Survey Report
Download EQ-i Coach’s 2022 Survey Report to discover the largest EQ barriers and opportunities for companies now and into the future.
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